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He probably would not recognize me walking down the street, I don't think he ever saw my face. Instead of his first move being a kiss he put his head straight into my chest and proceeded to motorboat me through my t-shirt. I should have been grateful, because when he did finally kiss me it was AWFUL!!! You know how little k**s will pretend to "gum" something. They pull cover their teeth with their lips and the skin on their face is really tight and make a smacking noise? That was how he kissed. Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack. Honestly, that should have been a deal breaker right there. But I'd had a few drinks and was horny (although getting less so by the minute!) so I figured we could just move on to other things. He was so fascinated by my tits that I took off my top. He immediately began sucking my nipples in the same fashion as his kissing. And he sucked HARD!!! I told him a few times to lighten up, but I swear he just clamped down harder. My nipples were literally sore for like 3. I'm not sure if they caught the raw emotion that wasabout to spring forth, but the way I walked from the kitchen with myarms swinging in haste probably looked more feminine than I would haveliked.In the living area I let the tears flow, but I did my best to remainquiet and hide the sniffles. I was a complete mess of emotions as Igrabbed my book bag and sat at the couch. I now had the motivation andtime to work on getting out of this deep hole I was in. Homework wasgoing to wait.In my emotional roller coaster I began my plan of action.1. Figure out if there is anything else planted around the house thatmight reinforce a desire for me to be a girl. (Hide or destroy)2. Read the entire diary and find out what my parents think I wrote.3. Begin diary entries that portray my desire to continue my life as aboy.4. Delete anything I can find on my computer that reinforces a genderidentity issue.5. Stop having fun while dressed as Joyce. (Avoid tickle fights.)These were the 4 things I could.
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